For me, grief feels like weight. Like my limbs are actually heavier. I wake, and before my eyes open, I know. Not because of any memory or thought, but because my eyelids, my chest, my legs are heavier than they should be. From what feels like literally carrying the weight of grief.

How does the grief feel for you? I remember being genuinely surprised that grief wasn’t just emotional, it was physical. And, it turns out, grief can actually make you sick.

The Physical Toll of Grief

Grief can affect our physical health in various ways, including:

  • Weakened Immune System: Studies have shown that grieving individuals have lower immune function, making them more susceptible to illness. 
  • Increased Blood Pressure: Grief has been linked to increased blood pressure, which can lead to cardiovascular problems. 
  • Sleep Disturbances: Difficulty sleeping or insomnia is common among those who are grieving. 
  • Fatigue: Grief can leave us feeling physically exhausted, making it hard to perform daily tasks.

"I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too."

Chloe Woodward

Why Does Grief Make Us Sick?

Because grief can be stressful, and negative stress (the anger, the PTSD, the unending logistics) is bad for our bodies. In other words, grief triggers a stress response in our bodies. This response releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can suppress our immune system and increase inflammation.

“The death of a loved one is recognized as one of life's greatest stresses.”

Buckley et. al.

How to Not Get Sick While Grieving

You’re already grieving. You really don’t need all of the above on top of it. The best advice includes the usual suspects:

  • Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a support group for connection and understanding. There is some research to suggest that there’s a possible protective influence in social support.
  • Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that bring you comfort and relaxation, such as gardening, listening to music, going to a (joyful) movie.
  • Take Care of Your Physical Health: Eat a balanced diet, or at least attempt to get the calories and vitamins you need. Try some gentle movement (or stick with your regular exercise plan if you can). And, of course, prioritize sleep the Goldilocks way–not too much, not too little.
  • Consider Professional Help: If you're struggling with intense grief or it's impacting your daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. I’ve found grief coaches to be as effective (or more) than therapists. More on that in another post.

Grief can indeed make us sick, but it doesn’t have to. Try to be kind to yourself; you deserve a little babying right now–I promise.